Stars
by TheOceanBreathesSalty
Summary: Smitchie, what I think could have happened after Camp. Oneshot. I don't own. PLEASE review. T for safety, nothing too bad.


The first thing you notice is that she isn't wearing her bracelet.

You're aware that this is kind of strange, because there are plenty of other things that are more noticeable about her than the fact she isn't wearing some silly bracelet.

She's got deep brown hair that tumbles in brunette and chocolate and coffee colored waves midway down her back (you like it better now that she doesn't straighten it).

Her eyes are deep brown, like your favorite mocha or sweet milk chocolate with a little bit of cinnamon colored warmth mixed in.

She has slender legs (lengthened by a variety of high-heeled boots) and an elegance about her that tends to make people slow down as they walk by, just so that the glimpse they catch of her lasts a little longer.

You always feel so inadequate when you're with her because you are just a boy.

Raven black hair and hazel eyes and you aren't really anything special at all (sure you've got your music, but you still think that the band is mostly Nate's song writing and Jason's guitar playing and you were just lucky enough to be brought along for the ride).

And she is _everything_ special.

And because of this fact, you are aware that it's strange that instead of noticing her beautiful hair or warm eyes, you notice that she isn't wearing a bracelet.

But that's the bracelet that you gave her.

It was a night back when you were both 16 and you thought that the whole world was just waiting for you to conquer it.

_You were sitting with her outside by the lake on a moonless night, the only light from distant stars (it had taken __**forever**__ to convince her to come out here with you, she was certain that Brown was going to catch the two of you)._

"_I don't really like the stars." You say quietly, breaking the peaceful silence that descended hours ago._

"_Why?" She questions, just as quiet as you, while turning towards you and you feel the weight of her eyes on you but you don't turn to look at her, you continue staring at the dark sky above you._

"_Because they're liars." You say it simply, as if it were something easily understandable._

"_What? How can they lie? They aren't even alive." She speaks a little louder, barely noticeable laughter coating her incredulous words._

"_They're lying because some of them aren't really lit. They all keep shining, but more that one of them has already been extinguished, exploding into a black hole that consumes other black holes. And yet, we don't see that. We still just see bright stars shining at night." The words slip from your mouth easily and you finally turn to look at her, your ordinary hazel eyes colliding with the affectionate gaze of the girl lying next to you._

"_That's a rather cynical view about it don't you think?" She questions, her eyes leaving yours and turning back to the stars._

"_But that doesn't make it any less true." You return your eyes to the sky as you speak, but your mind is spinning because you can feel her suddenly depressed mood sinking under your skin and you know you caused it so you need to fix it._

_She says nothing more, only humming a quiet note that could've been an agreement as easily as it could have been a refusal._

_You reach to grab you leather jacket (yeah, so it's summer, but you __**always**__ had to have your jacket), suddenly realizing that you already had a way to cheer her up. _

_You sit up, crossing your legs and twisting to face her. _

_She doesn't move, but her eyes turn towards you._

_You reach out and grab her wrist, sliding cool, shimmering metal onto it before you release it and her arm falls back to the ground._

_She looks at you curiously before she moves her arm up towards her face, sitting up slightly and staring at her wrist._

_Lying there is a thin, shining silver chain, with one bright silver star sparkling on it._

"_I thought stars lied?" She smiles at you as she moves her eyes away from the bracelet and meets your gaze._

"_Not this star." You say it quietly and you don't offer further explanation because you truly don't know how to explain it or what to say._

"_Not this star." She repeats quietly, her eyes flashing with a strange sort of understanding before she lies back down in the grass and you ungracefully fall backwards so that you're once again staring at the stars and the moment is over._

She glances towards you and you quickly pull out of your memories, taking unsure steps towards her across the room.

She isn't glaring or smiling or doing anything really, and that makes you so much more nervous than you will ever admit.

People are staring at you as you cross the room (_the_ Shane Gray is back in the states?) and then you notice that they're staring at her too (and you always knew that she was going to be famous) and you wonder for a minute how many magazines are going to feature the two of you tomorrow morning but then her blank gaze meets yours and you forget how to think.

You reach her, and murmur a quiet hello before sliding into the seat across from her. Normally you would've sat next to her, slung an arm around her shoulders, and whispered something in her ear while she laughed.

But things have changed.

Because of you, everything changed.

Because of you, everything _broke_.

_You pushed __**too**__ far._

_She had just gotten a new boyfriend, and you saw them at a party together, and you had this moment of realization in which you saw that you didn't really think of her as a best friend (Nate had been telling you that for a while now, but since when have you ever listened to __**Nate**__?)._

_You thought of her as much more (he was going to say I told you so)._

_You wanted her for much more (and you probably deserved it)._

_So, like the fool you know you are (yes, you can admit it now, ever since that summer at Camp Rock), you storm across the room and pull her away from her boyfriend, taking her into the surprisingly empty backyard._

_Ironically, it's the same place that you gave her the bracelet that was now a permanent fixture on her wrist (and yeah, you are pretty thrilled that she wears it all the time and everyone knows that you gave it to her)._

"_Why are you here with him?" You ask quickly and you know that your voice is probably full of jealousy but you can't bring yourself to care, not really._

"_What's wrong with him?" She asks the question defensively but you can see understanding dawning in her eyes even as she tosses back coffee-colored hair in clear defiance._

_You don't respond, not with actual words at least._

_You just pull her towards you and press your slightly chapped lips against her supple, ruby ones._

_Then a moment later, she starts pressing back._

_And in that split second, everything changes (__**everything**__ is going to change because of this)._

_You leave the party in a rush, no explanations to anyone and no responses to her boyfriend's angry yells. _

_It's a fast drive to your house and then her lips are pressing against yours again and your stumbling up the stairs and before you know it all she has on is a shimmering silver star, sparkling brightly on her left wrist (you don't know how you got here, you were supposed to wait, she was supposed to wait, but the room was spinning from her intoxicating kisses and her eyes glazed over when you gripped her hips and palmed the back of her head, pulling her in for one of those ridiculously intoxicating kisses)._

_Her bright eyes see right through you and you tangle your fingers in brilliant wavy hair as her slender fingers dig into your shoulders and her legs tighten around your waist._

_And all you can think is that stars lie._

_You wake before she does and slip from the room quietly, because now you can't go back to how it used to be and you're so terrified._

_So you leave without a word, written or spoken (and this may be the __**worst**__ thing you had ever done, wrecking her life as well as your own and ruining Nate's and Jason's all in one fell swoop)._

_And then you disappear._

You don't come back to California for months, almost a year.

But when you're done with traveling through Europe (you stayed low and wore too-big sunglasses and there had been _no_ sightings of you the entire time you were gone), you call your parents and they come and get you at the airport and your best friends clobber you with hugs (turns out Mitchie talked to Nate and Jason (and more than likely lied) because they were there too and they weren't mad) and everything is back to normal (or whatever passed for normal when you were one of Connect Three).

Except something is missing.

_She_ isn't here (and you didn't expect her to be, not really, but then again, you kind of hoped).

It takes you another few months to get up the courage to track her down and when you finally do it takes another two months for you to get up the nerve to talk to her and another five months for her to actually consent to seeing you (for those five months, you talked to Caitlyn every time you tried to call Mitchie, except for one time when _Tess_ picked up the phone and that's when you realized how badly you had screwed this one up).

And now you're here.

Sitting across from each other in some coffee shop, not speaking because words used to come too easily and now they aren't coming at all.

You don't speak until her eyes meet yours, dark brown so familiar and unfamiliar all at once.

They're even darker now, but your unsure if that is just because she is looking at you.

Her hair is longer and her face more angular, but overall she is still the same person.

She was still the same girl that you experienced the best moments of your life with.

The one that you fell for, back when you were 16 and the most important thing in the world was convincing her that all the stars were liars, all but the one on her wrist.

The one that made you fall in love with music all over again, the one that _breathed_ life back into you when everyone else thought you were already too far gone.

The one that you broke because she was _too much_ and you were _too scared_ and you _didn't_ _know_ what you were giving up until it was already out of your reach.

"I am going to fix this." You speak quickly, as if the faster you say the words, the truer they are. You know that your eyes are bright with anxiety and nervousness and you can hear in your voice the eagerness to just _do_ something about it already, to do anything to absolve some of the guilt you've been feeling (you've always been better with actions than words, it's why Nate writes the songs and you amp up the crowd).

"But you're the one who broke it." Her voice is quiet and her words are simple. But they shatter you, and she knows it. She feels a sad sort of pleasure at the fact that she managed to make you feel a fraction of the way that she did (you know that she does because you know her, even though you threw it all away for _nothing_).

"So I can't fix this." It isn't even really a question, because you knew as soon as you saw her bare wrist that she wasn't going to let a few carefully thought out apologies and warm hugs (you know how to hug, you're best friends with _Jason_ for God's sake) change any of her feelings on the matter.

"I don't want you to." And even though you knew that was coming, you feel some piece inside you fracture and you feel like crying but you won't.

Because you know that this was your fault.

You did this and you can't fix it (you had already broken _so much_ and you still can't believe that she was added to that list).

Because someone else already fixed her, if the brilliant gold band around her ring finger is any indication (and jealousy _burns_ through you as if someone dumped a large pot of boiling water on your head), while you were busy running away.

And you can't fix something that is no longer broken.

And she isn't broken anymore.

But now you just can't seem to figure out, who's going to fix you?

There isn't anybody left.

They moved on and their lives continued even though you weren't there (and really, you aren't surprised by that because you think you're more important than you really are).

Everything in your life had changed (and you _knew_ that it was going to but that was probably more of a self-fulfilling prophecy because all of the things that happened you caused yourself).

And you only knew two things for sure anymore.

You _loved_ her.

But you lost your chance.


End file.
